We've all encountered losing friends. Whether they were by choice or by force. If you have experienced this, then you know it is not the easiest thing especially when the person was someone from your immediate circle -- a person you've known for a long number of years. This recently happened to me and before you ask, NO, it wasn't a New Year's Resolution, new year//new me kinda thing. It was actually very much unplanned. I had been friends with this girl for pretty much my whole life, only to find out that she wasn't who I wanted her to be, but she was herself. Allow me to explain. She was somewhat supportive, caring, loyal (up until a certain point) -- she possessed traits that I thought were necessary to be a good friend. But it all started to change sooner rather than later. From 3 way calling eachother on the house phone and telling eachother secrets to now suddenly me feeling like I don't know her at all. She was different. All of a sudden she was distant, and her intentions weren't the same anymore. Throughout the latter part of our friendship, she showed more of her 'true colors', committing several offences towards me in our friendship. Time and time again, I forgave her treason; even adjusting the friendship to better suit my new found trust issues. Eureka right? I thought I had found my solution. WRONG. She found a way to do something else, yet again. Then it hit me. I realized that no matter how many times you forgive someone and try to be a good friend to them, if they've decided in their mind that they are gonna hurt you, then they will. You trying to see their potential won't stop them from hurting you or mask the reality that they've probably never really been your friend from the start. You trying to envision the potential they may possess doesn't make you a dumb person. I wasn't dumb. But at what point do you decide to put yourself and your feelings FIRST? At what point do you realize that YOU MATTER? Your thoughts. Your time. Your energy. MATTERS. At what point do you stop putting your peace at risk? I can't help but think I felt obligated to be her friend. Whether it was because we knew eachother so long or because I wanted to trust that the "last time" would be the very last time. I can't lie, this was looooong overdue, but it's never too late to start. When we lose someone we once considered a true friend, one who was like a sister, we lose a piece of ourselves in the process. Reality sinks in. Some people are really only meant to be in our lives for a season. Some people are temporary//others are forever. People change or drift away and like any other relationship, friendships sometimes fall apart. A common misconception is that only the party that is cut off can feel hurt, when in fact that is nowhere near the truth. It is in situations like these when the saying "this hurts me more than it hurts you" comes to life. Some people might wonder how, and it is really simple if I'm being honest. Because.............well, let's face it -- as tough as we may want to act at times, when you are so used to that individual being around you often, when that person was someone who you discussed your dreams and aspirations with and they betrayed you (constantly), it IS hard. You can't possibly fathom why they would do such a thing or what you might have done to cause this. When a person you held in high regard has now become foreign to you, almost unrecognizable, it hurts. This is someone who I wanted to walk in my wedding, to be the godparent of my children, and to go on vacations with. Ultimately, this had to be done, for the sake of my own self peace, and now we are not friends. We are not enemies. We aren't anything, really. Just people who used to know eachother. Friends who became strangers. Where did we go wrong? Could it have been prevented? While I'll probably never know, I’ve simply learned to love and let go. It isn't easy, but with each day I am getting better and I hope she is too.
3 Comments
Ms. Fabulous
1/3/2017 03:37:36 pm
Honestly this is definitely how I feel about the whole issue of dropping friends. People think its easy on the people doing the dropping, not true at all. Glad you shed some light on that. Good read.
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This post is so real! I can definitely say Amen to the fact that "some people are only meant to be in our lives for a season". There is no excuse when it comes to allowing people to remain in our lives after their season has passed, especially when God allow us to see their fruits through their actions. At the end of the day it's for the best!!!!
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NaturallyDannii
1/6/2017 02:32:36 am
That is so true cuz! Thanks for checking it out! <3
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AuthorShe is more than just her name. More than just her hair. She is lovely. She is the epitome of strength and passion. She is me. NatuallyDanniiii. Archives
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